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Where are you from?

Date: 2011.08.15 | Category: Rambling | Tags:

“Where are you from?” is a question that people ask me and my children many times in only one day. Now that I have started speaking English to my kids full-time to build their comprehension and usage of the language, it is even worse. This constant query has made me question as well… Just where are you from?

Where are you from? Is it the place you were born, even if you don’t live there anymore, or have lived there for very long at all? Is it the place you spent most time in? Is it where your parents were from, genetically speaking? How about if they are from different places? Is it the country whose citizenship you hold? And what if you have dual citizenship? Or is it, perhaps, your current place of residence?

I have done my fair share of moving across the world, and I am multi-cultural as well. Where am I from? Where are my children, who were born here where we live and spent their whole lives, from? When people ask that dreaded question, just what do they want to hear?

I used to give some kind of answer to this question, when the kids were smaller. I might have replied with the name of any of the countries I lived in and identify with to some point, totally at random. Or I may have made up something completely different. Now that the kids are older and can understand everything, including being discriminated against because of their background, I rarely answer any more.

I try giving the name of the city we live in, because we have been there for a long time now – longer than in many other places I lived. People laugh at me. But well, I am from this city as much as I am from any other place I could refer to; the country I was born in, the countries my parents came from, and those I lived in and worked in. Why can’t I claim the city I live in, the city my kids were born in and lived all their lives in, as the place “I am from”?

Alternatively, when people ask The Question, I just say we are human, from Earth. Then they follow up with, “Yes, but what country?” The answer is that I don’t know. And when my daughter asks why people keep on asking where we come from, I don’t know that either. Just why do people want a specific answer to this question? Is “where you come from” so important? Don’t people understand that when I don’t answer them, it is not because I am ashamed of my heritage, but because I moved around so much that I just don’t know?

Where are you from? How do you determine that? And – is it important?

6 Responses to “Where are you from?”

Momma Jorje 11/08/16 05:55

Unfortunately, I STILL live in the dame town in which I was born. I’m trying to change that… but I’ll likely always claim it as “Where I am from.”
writenow 11/08/16 21:49

Why unfortunately?
Chelsea 11/08/17 01:55

What a great post! My Father’s family is originally from Spain,but they became Cubans as soon as Cuba became a place. He was raised in Argentina, I was born in Honduras but raised in the Domincan Republic, all 3 siblings were born in different countries, Mothe’rs family is of Polish descent, but we all hold US citizenships…and I married an undocumented mexican. Whew…I totally get what you mean. My standard answere has been Earth for quite some time now (unless the asker has an hour and some good wine for me :razz: )
writenow 11/08/17 13:53

Thanks for sharing! I might just ask the next person who wants to know whether they have an hour an some good wine :)
TinkAe 11/08/19 18:47

This question seems to come from a perspective of those who really don’t move around. It’s like old cemeteries vs cremation, etc.. Generations ago it seems that more people stayed in the same community, generation after generation. So, cemeteries made a lot of sense…there was always someone around to visit. But, I think that has really changed for so many.
writenow 11/08/20 20:08

Absolutely. People who are offended when I will not answer The Question probably don’t comprehend that there is no correct answer. But you are right; the world is changing.